New Moon

In the darkest night of the season
I fell in a hole, booted feet
and stick knees on
soft earth fresh from run off
and I ran off too
down tracks parallel in direction
and through luck and inattention
made it home.

Suggestive ?

I was going through all the pics in my cellphone when I ran across this one. It's the front of a karaoke machine box I saw in WalMart. I'll let everyone draw their own conclusions.

Wasabi ice cream & tarantula nightmares

"Pain is wisdom entering the body." Damnit all.

This past weekend my fortunes officially turned for the worst. If being robbed of my innocence and $500 in August wasn't bad enough, then perhaps the root canal in September shook my belief in my personal invincibility. But that probably wasn't enough either. The final nail in the coffin of my shameless youth was when a 'good' friend of mine wrecked my 87 BMW 325 this past weekend. Sure, it wasn't an awesome car, or maybe even a great car. But it was my car, and I got a lot of enjoyment out of it. So in addition to feeling betrayed by a friend and losing a car (and a large amount of cash involved therein), I feel as though everything is about to turn on me and take what I've earned with my hard work and appropriate it for completely wasteful uses. It appears that my well documented luck has run out. It would be nice if I was the kind of person who could channel every occurrence good or bad into something musical or artistic, but instead I feel like a bottle of blues with the cap welded on.


Also, I had a dream that I was very near the south pole, on some sort of floating platform trying to guide a high wing airplane, probably 12 passenger turboprop to land. The plane looked a lot the one that went down recently with the nine skydivers in it. At any rate, Nick Nolte appeared to be the pilot, and he successfully set this plane down on some a piece of wooden platform that couldn't have been bigger than 50 feet. I was pretty amazed by this, even though he did scrape a wing on the narrow tunnel that served as a runway. I had to jump in the ocean then, and even though we were near the south pole (you don't have to be a geographer to convince me this doesn't make much sense) I jumped in the ocean and swam to another part of this massive wooden platform, where there was some sort of party going on. Watching the news everyday really adds a bizarre layer to the dreamworld. Factoids masquerading as actual experiences, dancing a somatic number to whatever else fighting to influence my thoughts.


Unrelated: Two people behind me just introduced themselves, and there names were George and Martha. That's funny to me, and small joys in life should be tallied and cherished.

And six months went by

I never did mention that I'm going back to school. Well I am, and it is not the afterthought that it appears to be here. I really am trying to upgrade my life, and I have made a few sacrifices in the meantime - not all of them insignificant. When I'm in class, taking notes, everything I do makes me feel like I'm doing what I should be doing. It's a feeling I haven't had in years, and I relish it like a drug. Though I still feel a little out of place at times. Walking up the steps the other day I rounded a corner, nearly bumping into a girl. "Excuse me, sir," she said. I can't be more than two years older than her - if that - and she addressed me like I was one of the faculty. Since then I've taken a few more steps to look like I belong, if only to blend in a little more. That led to this exchange, more in the right direction:

"You look like... what's the word for out of time and place?"

I instantly replied.

"Anachronism."

"Yeah, that's it. Anachronism."

Of anything that I've been called, that is what I like the best. It's neutral, neither complimentary nor derogatory, and paints me as neither above nor below my surroundings, but both ahead and behind.

Then a little while later, it led to this:

Frostily trotting
on the cold steps
mouth tight
wordless
speculative in nature
coarsely ground
to a finely finite
finish.
Twenty-dollar words
bottled up like old wine
maybe vinegar by now.
Maybe.

I used to feel that my interests are far to broad to be put to good use in a blog. But I'm reconsidering.